TESTIMONIALS
Hear from some of our support group members in their own words about how MS Loss Network's peer-led support groups have helped them grieve and grow.
After I lost 2 family members in a murder-suicide in 2022, my concerned co-worker found Brittany McCarthy-Noble's essay. She connected me to Brittany for an intake meeting. We shared our stories and I knew I found someone who really understood the complicated grief I was going through.
In my first meeting I heard many stories, similar to mine, but different. Our shared form of trauma unified us. I attended the end-of-year candlelight remembrance ceremony and allowed myself to cry, for the first time, sharing pictures of lost love ones, whether the perpetrator or victim.
After that, I kept coming back. I have found my people. I am so appreciative to the founders, Brittany and Sara. Sara is the founder of www.mygriefconnection.org, for giving me a safe community at MS Loss Network.
I appreciate having a place to say the truth of how I'm feeling, things that someone who hasn't had a similar experience might find strange or confusing. My dark humor can be appreciated. People don't look at me with pity, they look at me with understanding.
Jenna Howe, Loss survivor 9/30/22 & 10/2/22
I spent over 30 years dealing with the effects from a murder suicide loss of my parents, and always feeling that a dark cloud has followed me wherever I am. I was always questioning myself, looking for answers. I lived in a quiet shame for what had happened and never felt comfortable sharing my story publicly.
In October of 2021 I used the internet to try again to search for murder suicide loss support. I was surprised and fortunate to actually find a real support group for this situation. I contacted the founder and was immediately overwhelmed with emotion because I finally found the people I can share my experiences and feelings with, it was amazing.
Having over 3 decades removed from my loss, I was able to see I had a different perspective on my grief and trauma experiences than those with a more recent loss. I lived with a deep silent anger and anxiety from my loss. Having lived through this, I have a deep empathy for loss survivors and what they are experiencing. Finding this community of loss survivors has given me a new purpose to use my trauma to help others who may feel similar to myself. I have been involved with this group for almost 3 years now and it makes me feel that I am able to turn some of my pain into something positive. It is true that after something like this life changes forever. Finding a new normal and finding some peace and happiness is something we all deserve.
Sharing our stories as a community is one of the best things that has happened to me.
Mitch Maryanov, Loss survivor from 8/10/1990
Being part of a small community, my experience of murder-suicide loss was at once immensely isolating and profoundly public. I knew my family's loss had an impact radius that extended beyond us—affecting friends, my children's classmates, teachers, and community members. And yet my family were the ones in the spotlight.
My friend and fellow MSL admin Mitch once put it best: it felt like being "a rockstar for all the wrong reasons."
While others could set it aside and live normal lives, I had no choice but to keep carrying the tragedy with me. As the mother and sole guardian of two young children, I had to talk about the loss over and over to navigate my family to safety.
I felt so trapped in this complicated grief for years. I didn't want it to define me. But I also wanted to make meaning out of it and help make the way a little easier for those who follow.
Nearly six years after my loss in 2022, I searched for a support community and found this group. My first contact with co-founder Brittany Noble-McCarthy was such an amazing breath of fresh air. I remember walking away from my first meeting, facilitated by our co-founder Sara Cobb, and feeling uplifted in a way I hadn't felt in years.
From that point forward, I knew I was having a normal experience of a deeply abnormal life situation. It didn't take all the pain away. But that recognition was a gift.
I'm so grateful to be part of this group that continues to give that gift. It's a privilege to bear witness to people sharing their deepest hurts with insight and vulnerability and offering so much support to others.
Connie Harrington, Loss survivor from 7/25/2016